You've Given Me Everything
by Violet1996
Summary: Tessa wants so desperately to give back to Will, who has filled her life with all the colors of the world. But when she attempts to give him the thing he most desires, the attempt ends tragically. Post CP2 but pre-TLH. One-shot, I needed to brain-dump.


**I know, I know. There are already several of these type of one-shots, but I had the idea and couldn't help myself. I also know that my **_**Institute Prep**_ **fans might not be so pleased with the lack of updating, but studying for the SAT and school activities has really been kicking my ass. I apologize, but I am going to let you know that the next chapter is about half written, so I'll try to get it up soon. Enjoy!**

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Will raced down the main stairs of the London Institute. Why the hell was the training room on the top floor of the building?

He had spent the better part of the morning shunned away from the infirmary by Sophie and Cecily, who were at Tessa's bedside. Will had attempted to train, but after he had nearly beheaded Gabriel not once, but thrice, he reduced himself to pacing the large room. Gideon and Gabriel were trying to be comforting, but their words went in through one ear and out the other. He may have been physically in the training room, but his mind was resting in the infirmary. What else was he expected to do when his wife was in labor?

His stomach churned. He didn't have a good feeling about this at all. After what seemed like an era, Bridget slipped into the training room.

"Master William?"

"Yes, Bridget?"

"Your presence has been requested in the infirmary."

Will hadn't even bothered to listen to the rest of Bridget's statement before he flew out the door and down the stairs. He burst into the infirmary and quickly located Tessa in the far corner.

She was lying on a bed, with a cloth screen placed strategically over her body so that she could not see anything below her chest. Cecily and Sophie were on the other side, trying to ease Tessa's pain. Will pulled a stool over to her bedside.

"Tessa, I came the minute I heard that you had called."

Tessa took a deep breath before she took one of Will's hands in her own. "Will, I know that men never assist with birth. I have a request though." She tried to continue, but she was cut off by a cry of pain that escaped her lips and plunged into Will's heart. Will pushed a stray wisp of hair out her face, eyes filled with concern. "What do you need, Tessa?" he asked.

"I want you to stay by my side. I'm scared Will, I'm really scared" she said, her voice shaking.

Will put his other hand over her's. "For you, I would do anything. Of course I will stay."

Tessa nodded before she squeezed her eyes and bit into the blanket that was pulled around her chin, screaming around it. Will stroked her hand, trying to calm her. Tessa was very red, and Will could not suppress the feeling that something was going to go wrong, even though Tessa was in front of him.

It happened so suddenly. Tessa let out a guttural cry of pain so loudly that she had jerked into a semi-rising position before she collapsed completely onto the covers. Will shook her, trying to wake her up.

"Tessa? Tessa!"

Sophie poked her head around the screen, checking out the commotion from the other end. Her mouth parted open when she noticed the unconscious Tessa.

"Oh my goodness, WIll! Stop shaking her, that's not going to help anything. Where the hell are the Silent Brothers?" she asked, turning her head to face Cecily. Will stared at them, trying to work his way out of his sudden shock. "Sophie, what's going on?"

Sophie sighed before she stepped around the curtain. "Will, I don't know. Something's not right. Tessa's lost an unusual amount of blood. Wew called for the Silent Brothers before you came, but I have no idea where on earth-"

She was cut off by the entry of a robed figure into the infirmary. Brother Micah made his way across the room, standing on the other side of Tessa's bed and sitting a lone finger on her forehead.

_She is weak. Her pulse is low and she's lost more than a healthy amount of blood. The life of the child is endangered too. I may not be able to save both. I will use what is in my powers to heal them._

Will looked up at him, his eyes sad through his locks. He clasped his hands in front of him. "Please. I can't think of a life without her. Save her, for even if the child lives, I would not be able to love something that took away the one thing that holds precedence in my heart. Please" he said, his voice rising in desperation.

_I promise you, William Owen Herondale, that I will do what I can. Now I will have to ask the three of you to leave, so that I may do my work in peace_.

Will shook his head adamantly. "No. I'm staying right here. Do what you must in front of me."

_William, it is imperative that you leave._

"No"

_Cecily, Sophie?_

They nodded in some sort of understanding, and they each clasped one of Will's arms and practically dragged him out of the infirmary, shutting the door behind sat on the floor outside the infirmary door, staring unresponsively at the opposite wall. For the next several hours, Will didn't speak to anyone. He noticed that people had left food and glasses of water nearby on the floor in his peripheral vision, but he didn't touch a thing.

At about six o'clock in the evening, Brother Micah stepped out of the infirmary. The others had gone to wait in the library, wishing to give Will the space he needed. Will hastily rose to his feet, afraid for what was coming next.

"How… How is she?"

_Alive and well, William. She's awake._

He buried his face in his hands. _Thank God, Thank God._ A wave of relief washed over him before he remembered that there had been another life on the line as well.

"And the baby?"

Brother Micah paused before answering. _I could not save the child. She had lost so much blood that the baby was already nearing death._ He walked away morosely to the library, leaving Will alone to register this new bit of information.

Lost the baby? They had been so unsure if they would even be able to have children. And even if they could, Tessa had been hesitant and not very ready just yet. It was his own fault, really, for pushing them to have a child so quickly.

Will ran a hand through his hair before he schooled his features into a cool expression. Whatever sentiments he was feeling he would have to hide. Tessa needed someone strong by her side right now. He pushed his way into the infirmary, walking over to a bed that was placed nearer to the door.

Tessa was leaning against several pillows on the freshly made bed. She was gazing blankly out the window. Will pulled up a chair to her bedside.  
He gulped. "Tessa, darling, how are you doing now?"

She seemed to have registered his words, but not his presence. She nodded bleakly, not uttering a single word. For the first time in his life, Will was at a loss for words. How do you go about trying to take amends for something that caused so much pain. He took Tessa's hand in his and rested his head on the edge of her bed. He hadn't realized how tired he had been until he had set his head down. He fell asleep without trying, trapped in a dreamless sleep.

It was almost two weeks before Tessa was allowed to leave the infirmary to go sleep in her own room. It had taken a while to replace her lost blood, and even more time for the tears on the inside of her legs to heal. Physically, she was recouping well. But she hardly spoke, giving out terse replies whenever Will, or anyone else, really, tried to talk to her. She ate her meals and slept as prescribed, but Will knew that she was just walking through the motions. He had been heartbroken to learn that the baby the two of them had anticipated had never seen the world. But Tessa seemed to have shut down completely, and quite frankly, it was troublesome.

Will held Tessa steadily by the shoulders, gently guiding her down the corridors and up the stairs. The couple normally slept on the third floor, but for the time's sake, Will had had some of their belongings shifted into a room on the first floor. It had taken a while to master the stairs, but they eventually reached the top. Walking down the hallway was easier. They stopped suddenly as Tessa tried to peer through a slightly open doorway.

Will released her shoulders, letting her take in the scene in front of her. She had stepped into the nursery that Will had worked so hard to make. He had used a pale blue dye to color walls. "Pale blue works regardless of the gender of the baby" he had said when Tessa had insisted on a friendlier shade, like yellow. There was a bassinet in the corner by the window which had a spectacular view of London. And there was an armchair in the other corner, a footrest set precariously in front of it. The rest of the room had been left an empty space, a place for the baby to play. Tessa slowly turned in a circle, taking in the whole room. When she stopped, she sank onto her knees and began to cry.

She buried her face her hands, sobs racking through her whole body. Will rushed to kneel by her side and lift her in his arms. He carried her over to the armchair, where they squeezed side-by-side. He held her tightly while she shook violently, tears coursing down her face.

"Wi-Will, I am so, so sorry. You have given me everything, and have never demanded anything of me. You asked me for one thing, and I could not even give that to you. I'm so sorry." she spluttered, burying her face into his shirt.

Will held her tightly. He felt tears trickle down his own face, his breaking for both of them and for their lost. "Tessa, my world is nothing without you. If you had… gone, and the baby had lived, I would've never been able to the one that had taken you away from me. Do not apologize for something that I had forced you into. Had I not persisted-"

"Don't say it, Will. I agreed for both of us. And now, this beautiful room will go to waste, all because of me" she sobbed, burying her face in his shirt.

Will stroked her back, trying to comfort her. "It is not your fault. Do you remember what Jem used to say? That everything happens for a reason? This was not our most fortunate hour, Tess. But I love you, nothing changes that."

"I love you too, Will" came a muffled reply from somewhere near Will's heart. He held her tightly, and they both fell asleep in the room that held their sorrow.

**Two Years later**

Tessa leaned back in the chair by the fireplace. Will was due back soon, and she needed to tell him, before the news made her completely delirious.

She was pregnant, for the second time. This time around, she and Will hadn't been trying. Ever since her miscarriage, Tessa had been careful. She didn't want a baby just yet, because she could not bear the thought of perhaps suffering again. Will had been the model gentleman, and had receded to Tessa's wishes. But a month ago, she decided that she was ready for something more.

She and Will were on holiday in Italy. The countryside outside of Florence was beautiful. They had spent days ambling through the vineyards and dozing under the sparse trees. One night, right before the end of their trip, Tessa and Will had drunk half a bottle of wine apiece. They had entered the guest house in a burst of laughter, giddy with happiness. Tessa sank onto the bed in their room, tossing her shoes into the corner.

"Will, what is the matter with us? I think we scared that poor old couple out of their wits!" she said. Will grinned and sat beside her. "Nonsense, that woman must've hit me with her cane a hundred times. I can't believe that she was more terrified than I was. Besides, they have each other. What else do they need?"

Tessa gazed into his eyes, the dull light of the flickering candle sparking the blue of his irises. When was the last the time she had looked at him like this? She couldn't really remember, which was why she had leaned in to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. He closed his eyes and drew in a breath when Tessa started to draw away.

He couldn't help himself anymore and he reached out for her, pulling her tightly against him and crashing his lips into hers. She let out a small noise from the back of her throat, but she succumbed under the pressure, not willing to hold back anymore.

They were seated rather awkwardly on the bed, so it was only a matter of moments before they had fallen back onto the bed. One thing led to another and before Tessa realized it, she was flat on the bed with her legs drawn up and spread apart. Her hands were on Will's back, as if to steady him while he pulsed back and forth.

Neither of them had spoken about it afterwards. Tessa hadn't thought much about it until she had woken up to a strong craving for chocolate tarts a few weeks later, and then threw up what little she ate into the washbasin. Brother Micah had made a house call, and confirmed what Tessa had suspected. Which brought her to this moment, and why she was waiting so anxiously for Will.

Finally, the door to the library opened to let Will in. He tossed his jacket onto the desk chair. Tessa stood up and turned to face him .

"Tess" he said, closing the distance between them and enclosing her in a hug. He hated it when he was separated from her for more than a feew hours at a time. Tessa looked up to meet his gaze before she said "Will, you might want to loosen your hold on me. It couldn't be good for the baby." Will grinned before he realized the meaning of her words. 'What on earth…. Oh" he said, taking a step back and running a hand through his hair. Before Tessa could say another word, Will swept her off her feet and spun her in a circle. "By the Angel Tessa, is it really true?" he shouted, setting her onto the sofa. She grinned at his own giddiness and nodded vigorously. "It is Will. He'll be born in November."

Will looked like he was about to faint. "He'll… Oh my goodness we're going to have a boy!" he shouted again. He collapsed down by Tessa's knees, sobbing tears of pure joy into her lap. Tessa stroked his back to ease him. She was happy, because now she had a chance to give back to the man who had given her everything.

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**Hope you guys liked it! **


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